_ Men we all make mistakes in dating and relationships. When this happens we have to apologize and make amends and the sooner the better. Don’t try to be macho. Admit your mistake, ask for forgiveness and do what you must to make amends. 

Many of us 40 or older grew up with fathers who were steadfast on not apologizing. If they did it was never in front of us. Our fathers would argue with our mother’s over petty stuff. They would do things that were totally irresponsible. It was nothing for them to stay out all night with the boys, gamble and get drunk. This is just the way it was.

So as for role models, we didn’t exactly have the best. This does not mean that we have to be the same and treat women the same.  

If you make a mistake, own up to it. The same way that we own up to mistakes at work or playing sports, it is even more important to do this when in a relationship. There is nothing worse than a person who does something wrong, won’t admit it and doesn’t apologize for it.  

Many of us let our boys influence us when it comes to this. We listen to them when they tell us that a man doesn’t have to apologize for anything. The woman should know coming into the relationship that we’re not perfect and are going to make mistakes. When we do, we shouldn’t have to acknowledge it with words or actions. She should accept this as one of our flaws and deal with it. 

Nothing could be further from the truth. Remember these same boys who are telling you not to own up are probably having problems in their own relationships. They probably have the same arguments over nothing that our parents had. All because one side or the other won’t admit that they are wrong.    

A woman deserves an apology when we do something wrong to her. And we should ask for forgiveness. If she accepts and forgives that’s all we can ask. But she deserves more. An apology is not enough. 

After the apology we must do whatever it takes to make amends. The first thing we must do is never make the same mistake again. We’ve been forgiven once. There’s no guarantee that we will be forgiven again. 

Then we must show her with our actions that we mean to do better. We have to show that we have learned from our mistake and want to become a better partner. It doesn’t matter what we do as long as we do it. And it doesn’t matter how long it takes as long as it gets done. This should be the case whether you are dating or just friends. 

Men, we all make mistakes in dating and relationships. When this happens we must apologize and make amends.